Macaroni and strategy

And now for something slightly different.

It’s midnight, the witching hour.  The world and his wife are asleep, but you are up, working on your start-up. This hard graft is what separates the men from the boys. How many users have you got right now? What on earth are you going to about that VC meeting in the morning? Your to-do list is longer than your arm and you’re a fully grown orangutan.

And there’s obviously a bigger question, too. The big question, for a new business.  Not just what you’re going to do next week, what are you going to do next year? What is your strategy? And as easy as it might be to put that on the back-burner, you should put it front and center.  Because it’s all too easy to get distracted.

Because I know what you’re thinking, it’s only natural. It’s absolutely delicious.  Cheesy and delicious.  Warm comfort food. But as attractive as it might seem now, it’s not what your modern day business needs.  Stop confusing Macaroni and Cheese with strategy.

That seems obvious, right?  But all too often I have seen entrepreneurs neglecting their business goals in favor of a steaming bowl of Mac and Cheese. It’s not just the carbohydrates (don’t get me started on the carbohydrates), it’s just not the right way to take your business from a half-baked idea to a fully-baked macaroni and cheese.

Metaphorically speaking, that is.  A metaphorical Mac and Cheese. I certainly don’t want one, I’m focused on business, and strategic thinking.  Customer acquisition! Competitor benchmarking!  Not a guilty bite of dairy delight.  By no means that, not that at all. I cannot think of anything worse.

You need to buckle down though, son.  Get to it on that Mac of yours, and I don’t mean macaroni. How are you going to convince that VC that you’re legit if you stink of Stilton? I know, of course, that Stilton is a delicious cheese, one of the best.  But I let alliteration get the better of me.  I’m sorry about that.

Would I like bacon on top, I hear you ask? Of course I would like bacon.  On my Excel model, that is. Not on a tasty and filling pasta-based treat. I only ever analyze user KPIs in Excel with some tasty bacon sprinkled on top.  My IT guy won’t thank me, but it helps me do business for some reason. It’s nothing at all to do with all the empty food cartons all over the floor.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

What do you mean, Mac and Cheese problem? I am a serious business man.  Just talk to my many business associates.  I go to meetings on a regular basis, and do more email than you’ve had hot dinners. Just because a man enjoys an occasional takeaway doesn’t mean he is not fit for the business world. How dare you make that accusation, on this, Mac and Cheese Monday! It’s like this day means nothing to you at all.

You impudent brat, coming in here, talking Mac and Cheese like you own the place. No. I have been eating Mac and Cheese since before you were born. You walk in here like you’re made of cheddar, when you’re not.  You’re a poxy entrepreneur and I am the big cheese. I am a Big Mac.

Ok, ok.  You were right the first time.  I know it, you know it.  You didn’t even mention Mac and Cheese earlier, that was all me. You don’t know man, back in the 90’s. Everyone was doing Mac and Cheese.  It was like a drug, just so delicious.

Please leave me, I can’t bear it.  I can’t help you with your business, I’m a wreck. All hyped up on dairy and carbs.

But don’t take the Mac and cheese, though. Please. I’m going to get me some of that.

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