Hardly Business Review

Where we Work (WWW) is a series looking at the modern day workplace, and the many new and innovative workspaces that today’s companies are using to inspire brilliance in their employees. Today we meet Zoomz, a mysterious underground AI startup
Welcome! Oop mind the doors, they’re automatic. I’m so glad you’re on time, we insist on punctuality at Zoomz, it’s part of our company culture. The early bird catches the worm, but the punctual parrot catches it too! We’re so strict on it if you’re not on time you miss your chance, it’s our one unbreakable rule.
Please do sit down, though not in the disabled seating of course. Sometimes it’s so busy here our team have to work standing up! But it’s early this morning and it’s Friday, so no one is around. Everyone says Thursday is the new Friday, apparently mainly to excuse weekday drinking. I’m teetotal of course, but I’m happy it’s quieter on a Friday morning, I love getting a seat.
Yes, the velocity here is amazing I know. That’s the joy of tech startups! Always launching, always moving forwards. Also the physical forward momentum of course. I hope you don’t get motion sickness.
It’s amazing the variety of people we get here, it’s become a bit of a hub. Bankers, teachers, candlestick makers, everyone passes through in the morning. Everyone’s very respectful, though, no one says anything, and please don’t make any eye contact, because it’s beyond awkward.
I’m afraid I can’t really talk about what we’re working on at the moment, but I can tell you it’s going to change the world. It’s such good stuff that we’re in stealth mode. We’re Underground.
Anyway I’m afraid I’m going to have to step out, I have a meeting at Victoria, but feel free to hang around. Stay as long as you like, or rather until This Train Terminates.
Toodle-oo!