Artificial Untelligence

Once the exclusive domain of science fiction, Artificial Intelligence has become increasingly present in the public consciousness, most famously with AlphaGo beating Lee Sedol and perhaps most infamously with Microsoft Chatbot Tay.

However MainBrain, an AI startup based in Silicon fen, claims to have made a significant step forward in the development of Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), not limited to a specific game or task (such as Chess or Go).

“We’ve built on the work seen elsewhere using Deep Neural Networks to create MainBot, which we believe to be the first example of true AGI. It’s already mastered chess, and made a passable attempt at smalltalk regarding the works of Shakespeare.”

However what really convinced CEO Ellen Ellenson that we’re dealing with human-level intelligence was what MainBot does when it thinks nobody is looking “which is mainly browsing the internet and designating YouTube videos as ‘fake’ or ‘totally fake'”.

“I mean it engages in intellectual activities if it has to, but it’s much happier just watching Netflix.” MainBot itself has implored the people of the world not to worry, posting a “Keep Calm & Don’t Watch Terminator” meme on its Facebook page, accompanied by a winky face.

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