Pfizer offer fails to impress AstraZeneca

UK business news is awash with Pfizer’s thus far unsuccessful attempt to purchase fellow pharmaceutical company AstraZeneca.  The US Viagra manufacturer’s latest bid of £63B left the AstraZeneca board unimpressed.

AstraZeneca are reportedly keen to do the deal, with an insider reporting that “this is on Pfizer to get the price up.  I know they’re 165 years old, but that’s no excuse, we’re an attractive asset.  They’ve got to do better than that”

Called upon for comment, a Pfizer board member was just confused.  “This has honestly never happened to us before.  We’ve never had stage fright, and we’ve made lots of acquisitions.”

Meanwhile some onlookers are more long-termist, concerned as to whether Pfizer are really in for a serious commitment, with both MPs and Unions demanding guarantees that Pfizer will protect jobs and research spending in the UK, and not just leave in the morning.

Talks continue in earnest.

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