Tag Archives: Simeon Partners

Investment Guru: Gold

We at Simeon Partners have recently happened upon an incredible commodity which we are piling into as fast as we can. It’s called gold, and we believe that it’s really worth its weight in gold.

In fact, we have tracked the data back as far as we can, and gold has never been worth less than the equivalent weight in gold. It’s unbelievable! We have never come across a commodity that holds its value so consistently relative to the gold standard.

At Simeon, we are dedicated to making investment decisions on the basis of archaic sayings. So get in touch with one of our client liaison officers, and we can get you some gold for your retirement.


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Conference call goes smoothly

Teams from both sides were left puzzled today after a conference call went off without a hitch. The interim meeting between Simeon Partners, a consultancy, and their client Organic Taste Foods was scheduled to take place over the phone, and the conference call went perfectly.

“I’m gobsmacked to be honest,” said Simon Chambers, of Simeon Partners. “I knew something was up when everyone dialled into the conference call successfully and on time, but I never would have guessed that everyone would actually be audible, let alone that no one would talk over one another.”

Organic Taste Foods were similarly surprised. “There were no crossed wires at all, we understood just what they meant, first time. I found myself hissing down the phone to make up for the lack of distracting background noise!”

We contacted Audiomax, the conference call operator, who said that their engineers are looking into the issue.

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