Jun 26 2014
Leave a comment
Business Leaders in non-Business Places

Painting by numbers

Business Leaders in non-Business Places (BLiNBP) is a program aiming to spread business insight and expertise, by placing prominent members of the business world in non-business areas. We catch up with Michael during his time at the Royal British Gallery

Michael is the COO of a global logistics company, with an MBA from Harvard Business School, and 30 years of management experience. As part of BLiNBP, Michael has taken a six month sabbatical to work at the Royal British Gallery, the UK’s largest public art collection, with full responsibility for the future direction of the Gallery.

“When I arrived, the place was in a state of uncertainty,” explains Michael, “with funding and visitors at an all time low. My job is to get us out of that rut. I actually didn’t really know much about art, when I joined, but if there’s one thing I do know it’s organizational change, so I was quietly confident”

The first major change was with regards to real estate.  Despite the Gallery being, in Michael’s words, “a vehicle for displaying paintings”, Michael identified that only a small proportion of the available wall and ceiling surface area was actually being used for that purpose. “I mean most of the place was just plain old white paint, which is no good to anyone. I saw that as an opportunity for a quick win, and we made a pretty penny selling three quarters of the Gallery to property developers, fitting all our paintings into a fraction of the space and dramatically reducing overheads.”

This not only saved money, but also made the visiting process much more efficient. “Instead of wasting time looking at the same paint you could see in your own sitting room, not an inch was wasted, with canvas next to canvas next to canvas,” beams Michael.

Buoyed by this positive start, Michael quickly dug into the interest ratings for each and every painting in the Gallery. “What I found, to my surprise, was that 80 percent of customers were coming to see only 20 percent of the paintings – a classic 80:20 ratio.”

Michael saw only one logical response to this, which was to “cut the long tail”. “It is unfathomable, in the era of Big Data, for such a tail to exist,” Michael told HBR. “Why are we showing things people don’t want to see? And on the flip side, why were we not showing more of the popular paintings? For example, Dutch car rental firm Van Go’s paintings were an incredible draw. Why didn’t we have more of them?”

After speaking with his Accounts department, it became clear that Dutch Van Go paintings were rather expensive for the cash-strapped gallery, as well as being in short supply. However this was nothing that Michael hadn’t seen before. “It was like Finance hadn’t come across outsourcing! I’ve worked with difficult Western European factories before, and the only sensible reaction is to ship the work off to China.”

Which is exactly what Michael has done. Taking the gallery’s “Sunflowers” as a prototype, Michael has commissioned 200 exact copies of the painting, due to arrive at the start of next week. “The quality of the work is incredibly high,” explains Michael. “You can barely see the Made in China label in the bottom right.”

So Michael is confident that things will finally turn around: “By my calculations, these paintings should boost visitor numbers by 200 percent per annum, but the sky is the limit. Van Go’s Sunflowers is currently our most popular painting, so imagine what will happen when we have 201 of them. I cannot wait!”

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Jun 25 2014
Leave a comment
On Management

Macaroni and strategy

And now for something slightly different.

It’s midnight, the witching hour.  The world and his wife are asleep, but you are up, working on your start-up. This hard graft is what separates the men from the boys. How many users have you got right now? What on earth are you going to about that VC meeting in the morning? Your to-do list is longer than your arm and you’re a fully grown orangutan.

And there’s obviously a bigger question, too. The big question, for a new business.  Not just what you’re going to do next week, what are you going to do next year? What is your strategy? And as easy as it might be to put that on the back-burner, you should put it front and center.  Because it’s all too easy to get distracted.

Because I know what you’re thinking, it’s only natural. It’s absolutely delicious.  Cheesy and delicious.  Warm comfort food. But as attractive as it might seem now, it’s not what your modern day business needs.  Stop confusing Macaroni and Cheese with strategy.

That seems obvious, right?  But all too often I have seen entrepreneurs neglecting their business goals in favor of a steaming bowl of Mac and Cheese. It’s not just the carbohydrates (don’t get me started on the carbohydrates), it’s just not the right way to take your business from a half-baked idea to a fully-baked macaroni and cheese.

Metaphorically speaking, that is.  A metaphorical Mac and Cheese. I certainly don’t want one, I’m focused on business, and strategic thinking.  Customer acquisition! Competitor benchmarking!  Not a guilty bite of dairy delight.  By no means that, not that at all. I cannot think of anything worse.

You need to buckle down though, son.  Get to it on that Mac of yours, and I don’t mean macaroni. How are you going to convince that VC that you’re legit if you stink of Stilton? I know, of course, that Stilton is a delicious cheese, one of the best.  But I let alliteration get the better of me.  I’m sorry about that.

Would I like bacon on top, I hear you ask? Of course I would like bacon.  On my Excel model, that is. Not on a tasty and filling pasta-based treat. I only ever analyze user KPIs in Excel with some tasty bacon sprinkled on top.  My IT guy won’t thank me, but it helps me do business for some reason. It’s nothing at all to do with all the empty food cartons all over the floor.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

What do you mean, Mac and Cheese problem? I am a serious business man.  Just talk to my many business associates.  I go to meetings on a regular basis, and do more email than you’ve had hot dinners. Just because a man enjoys an occasional takeaway doesn’t mean he is not fit for the business world. How dare you make that accusation, on this, Mac and Cheese Monday! It’s like this day means nothing to you at all.

You impudent brat, coming in here, talking Mac and Cheese like you own the place. No. I have been eating Mac and Cheese since before you were born. You walk in here like you’re made of cheddar, when you’re not.  You’re a poxy entrepreneur and I am the big cheese. I am a Big Mac.

Ok, ok.  You were right the first time.  I know it, you know it.  You didn’t even mention Mac and Cheese earlier, that was all me. You don’t know man, back in the 90’s. Everyone was doing Mac and Cheese.  It was like a drug, just so delicious.

Please leave me, I can’t bear it.  I can’t help you with your business, I’m a wreck. All hyped up on dairy and carbs.

But don’t take the Mac and cheese, though. Please. I’m going to get me some of that.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Jun 22 2014
Leave a comment
Entrepreuninsight, News

Driverless cars LikeHumansDo

Championed by tech giant Google, driverless cars are widely purported to be the future of the road transport industry.  However not everyone is in favour of the driver-free revolution, with some members of the public expressing concerns around privacy and more importantly safety.

While some may see this lack of wholesale acceptance as a barrier for the industry, some manufacturers are addressing these concerns head on.  LikeHumansDo is a driverless car manufacturer based just outside Cambridge, part of so-called Silicon Fen.

Founder Ben Rickman started making driverless cars in 2012, after several years spent as a Postdoc at the University of Cambridge’s Engineering Department. His aim was to build a computer that could act as the ‘perfect driver’, and his creation, e-Fred (after Bruce Wayne’s butler, Alfred) was more than up to scratch, with a flawless record in all public road tests.

However after speaking to members of the general public at various trade shows, he was dispirited. “They just didn’t trust the computer as much as a human being,” explains Ben. “It soon became clear that we would have to re-focus on creating a driverless car that drives exactly like a person.”

Ben and his team approached their task with renewed vigour, building additional features on top of the original e-Fred prototype. “We started with the basics, building in a tiredness feature that would steadily reduce alertness over time. We also found we could perfectly mimic a driver taking his eyes off the road by periodically turning off all e-Fred’s sensors.”

Over a painstaking period of months, LikeHumansDo developed road rage, late indication and occasional drunk driving into e-Fred’s arsenal. The driverless car’s performance in public road tests went down accordingly, much to the team’s pleasure. “Where previously we had no accidents, our car is now performing precisely at the level of an average human,” said Ben, describing the vehicle lovingly as “a danger to itself and other drivers.”

The car is still in the final testing stages, but overall Ben is delighted: “It even blows its horn when older drivers are slightly slow to pull off from traffic lights, and will occasionally stall in the middle of a junction. e-Fred is a car that your everyday driver can relate to, and I’m sure they will sell like hotcakes.”

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
Jun 21 2014
Leave a comment
On Management

Not a hint of blue sky

The last five years has seen a transformation in the way in which individuals, organizations and companies store their information. Where previously people relied on immediately out-of-date server rooms, now more and more information is being stored in the “cloud”, outsourcing a non-core headache to the professionals.

While the emergence of cloud computing has made life more dynamic and flexible for millions of people, there is one small corner of the business world that is less than impressed. Rick Richmond is a 45-year old ‘business guru’, who has seen his specialist area of blue-sky-thinking dwindle into nothingness.

“Before the arrival of cloud computing, life was a breeze,” he explains to HBR, “but the growth of the cloud has made things much more difficult. How am I supposed to generate disruptive business insights if I don’t have any blue sky to work with? I need a bit of sunshine, but now everything is overcast.”

His frustration is shared by other blue sky thinkers, who liken their plight to that of the record player. “We’re the old guard, doing business the way it’s meant to be, just saying wacky stuff that we think might be true” says Larry Wilkinson, a management consultant from New York. “Now they’ve taken away our blue sky, and on top of that big data is making us rely on ‘facts’ and ‘analysis’, instead of just crazy disruptive ideas. Life is tough right now.”

Meanwhile cloud computing advocates are unapologetic. “A business storm is coming,” says Cloud Evangelist Phil Sims. “And we will not rest until the entire internet is covered in cumulonimbus. The days of the blue sky thinkers are numbered”

What of other traditional business disciplines? Envelope pushers are long since extinct, driven out with by the growth of email and the concurrent death of the post. But one group of business thinkers have been resilient in the face of new technologies. “People thought that there wouldd come a time when thinking outside the box wasn’t enough,” says marketing manager and outside-the-box thinker Sally Brady. “But as soon as everyone thinks they’re outside the box, then being outside the box is suddenly the accepted wisdom. Which means you are back inside another, larger box. So outside the box thinking is here to stay.”

Tagged , , , , ,
Jun 15 2014
Leave a comment
News

University graduate surprised by job offer

A university graduate has been both surprised and delighted to receive a job offer at a major accountancy firm.  Jack Williamson, 22, received a call last night from the HR manager informing him that they would like to make him an offer and “look forward to having him on board”.

This came as quite a shock to Jack, who explains that as far as he remembers the interview couldn’t have gone any worse. “I mean it didn’t start well, when I forgot which department it was I was applying for. I’ve made so many applications now that I don’t know what’s what!”

Even once he’d worked out which job it was he was interviewing for, he still felt he didn’t do very well at all. “There was definitely a period where the only word in the English language I seemed capable of using was ‘like’, and my definition of Depreciation would have made an 4-year old blush.”

He thought it had gone from bad to worse when his attempt at humour was met with frosty silence. “I was offered a cup of tea, and said no thanks because Tea is for mugs. I thought that was an excellent bit of workplace friendly banter, but I don’t think my interviewer agreed.”

So Jack was more than a little surprised to learn that he had got the job after all. “I’m just not asking any questions, to be honest. I’m sure I’ll work out what’s what while I’m there, before they realise the mistake they’ve made!”

In other news, university third year Will Jackson has been turned down from his job application, despite reportedly “smashing” the interview. “I’m not too downhearted,” he told HBR. “I’m sure the bloke who got it must have been some kind of rock-star.”

Tagged , , , , , ,
Jun 14 2014
Leave a comment
Business is Awesome

Business is Awesome: Journalism

Business is Awesome.  You know it, I know it.  This series is where I write about it.

Imagine if you could get paid, to write down words. That might seem implausible.  I thought so too!  But apparently there is an entire industry where people get paid to write things, so-called “Journalism”.

Isn’t business awesome? And here I am, writing down words for free, like a sucker.

Journalists don’t just write about serious topics either, like finance and economics, journalists can write about everything and anything. I even read an article by a paid journalist about some kind of sporting event!

I have no doubt that this industry will grow like crazy over the next few years.  After all everyone wants to write things for money, so the sky’s the limit, everyone will be piling in. Journalism will be the next big bubble – you heard it here first.

 

Tagged , , , ,
Jun 14 2014
Leave a comment
Book Reviews

Book review: Think Like a Freak

While readers might know me as a serious business person, I am actually quite fun.  Indeed I will occasionally do something purely for my own amusement, outrageous as that might sound!

This weekend past was one such time.  With a bit of time on my hands between business trips, I chanced upon a new release, “Think Like a Freak”, by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner.

After a week of hard work, I thought I’d loosen up a bit, perhaps get a little “freaky”, and opened said tome, looking forward to some wild and tall tales.

I am afraid that I was disappointed.  Far from being a parade of weirdery to take one’s mind off the daily drudgery, “Think Like a Freak” turned out to be full of sensible advice about how to live one’s life.  Instead of anecdotes about some of this green globe’s more wacky denizens, I was treated to a range of everyday anecdotes and well-researched explanations.

The cheek of it! I have of course written to the authors expressing my disappointment with their misrepresentation. You can hardly excite a man with such a title, only to sneakily improve his mind. Two stars.

Tagged , , , , ,
Jun 07 2014
Leave a comment
News

IT manager rumbled

The IT manager at a small stationery company has been revealed as a fraud. Tim Johnson, 45, has been at Swindon Paper Services for 25 years, but will now be leaving the company in search of a new opportunities after it was revealed that he actually has no idea how computers work.

“I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did, to be honest,” Tim told reporters. “I was originally a sales manager, but was made Head of IT because the MD said we needed one, and I’d once managed to fix the fax machine.”

“We barely used computers at the time, you see, and as we went more and more digital no one thought to check whether I knew what I was doing.”

His colleagues admit that they were slow to catch on. “He types with one finger, which should have been a give away,” says Jessica, 34, “and sometimes he’d just be sitting there staring at a blank screen for hours at a time. I don’t know how we didn’t clock it!”

Tim credits his longevity to one simple rule, “turn it off and on again”. “People love that stuff! And somehow it seems to work. I’d also keep ordering computer type stuff, like servers and things like that. The funny thing is we’ve got all these servers and I still don’t know what they do.  But somehow I’ve got a whole room for them!”

Meanwhile, Swindon Paper Services are looking for a new IT manager. “We wish Tim the best of luck, of course,” said MD Ted Vickers, “but now we need an IT man for the modern era. I want big data, and I want it now.”

Despite having been posted on the community centre notice board for two days, the company is yet to receive any applications for the role. Tim holds no grudges. “Good luck to the new guy. It’s a pretty cushy job, though it might be more difficult if he actually has to do some work.”

Tagged , , , ,
Jun 05 2014
Leave a comment
Entrepreuninsight

Entrepreuninsight: Grammer

It is a truism that the modern man (or woman) on the web has more potential megaphones than any of his ancestors.  It has never been easier to broadcast your opinions to the masses, whether the masses are interested or not.

While no one would deny that this democracy of the internet is one of the great gifts of the modern era, some do quibble with how this freedom is being used. Indeed, your author is still baffled by the proliferation of cats, adorable and otherwise, in these virtual hallways. Others are more concerned about how we are taking advantage of the internet as a channel of communication. Entrepreneur John Simkins is one such concerned internet resident.

“I suppose it boils down to the fact that we have been blessed by two man-made miracles,” explains John, “the internet and the English language.  My problem was that we seemed unable to make the most of both simultaneously.”

Indeed this is a very sensitive topic for John, what he refers to as the “bastardisation of the English language”. “I mean it’s ridiculous, what does it all mean?” he exclaims. “I thought this might be the golden era for English prose, but instead we’ve been reduced to a parade of acronyms, selfies, hashtags and emoticons!”

It was this degeneration that inspired John to start Grammer, a social-network for language-lovers. The concept was inspired by Twitter, where there is a maximum number of characters per message. In Grammer, the length is unlimited, with the only requirement being that the message must be written in perfectly composed English.

While the number of subscribers is still in the growth phase, the concept has a fanatical fan-base. Librarian Jen Howland is a super-user. “I used to be on Twitter, but then it all became too much for me. I was just seeing red mist the whole time, so many dangling prepositions! Grammer is like heaven for me.”

The concept is simple.  Upon submitting a message, Grammer’s algorithms go to work, informing you whether your message is fit for online consumption, and how to update it if not, from your to you’re to theirs to there and beyond. Meanwhile, the underlying open-source programme is constantly being updated by a volunteer community of Definers. “I can’t speak highly enough of our Definers,” says John, “they’re the lifeblood of our operation. They’ve even started catching mis-placed gerunds, which is really tricky stuff.”

The project is already attracting significant interest from Venture Capitalists, “though they’re only welcome if they know how to capitalise appropriately,” jokes John. “I think we’re on to a really interesting thing here. Some people call us Grammar Nazis, but we’re a pretty irreverent bunch.  The name of the App is even mis-spelled, intentionally!  We might love grammar, but we still know how to have a good time.”

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Jun 03 2014
Leave a comment
Business is Awesome

Business is Awesome: Currency trading

Business is Awesome.  You know it, I know it.  This series is where I write about it.

Everyone knows how shops work. You go into a shop, you choose things that you want, you exchange those goods for a given amount of money. Everyone is a winner – you have a product or service you want, and the retailer or service provider gets the money they need.  Simple.

What if I told you that you could use money, to buy money, that was somehow worth more money than the money you used to buy the money?

I’ll hold on a second while you read that back.

I know right?! That seems crazy! But that’s what Currency Traders do every day.  They somehow turn money into more money just by buying money!

I will admit that I’m not that clear on the details, but regardless, this is just another way in which Business is Awesome.  Making money by buying money? What will they think of next.

Tagged , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →